Critique Session

This is the first time I’ve done this. Hopefully, I will get plenty of feedback on what you thought about this piece. I’m hoping that I’ll become a better writer through sharing my work with you:

My red cloak flew behind me as we galloped through the woods. Odyssey was begging to go faster and I obliged. The wind whistled past my ears and stung my face, but I was heartened to feel the fresh air.

Then Odyssey threw me.

I flew from his back. I hit the tree trunk and slid down, feeling like every bone in my body was broken. Odyssey bucked again and something dark flashed by. I felt myself scream as a furry side hit my face.

“Calm down,” a voice hissed.

I opened my eyes.

A large wolf stood on the ground in front of me. The only thing was, it didn’t look exactly like a wolf. It had a thick mane reminiscent of a lion’s and two curling horns that spiraled next to his ears.

“What are you?

It looked at me and waited for me to move. I felt myself reach out and gently touch its fur. Instead of snapping at me, the beast collapsed on the ground. Odyssey whinnied in fear and galloped away, leaving me in the woods with the creature. I backed up towards the bark and wrapped my cloak around me.

“You’re not a wolf,” I observed.

It looked at me with a penetrating gaze and I found myself looking back. Its eyes were large pools of black, deep and full of something I didn’t understand. For a moment, we just stared. Then, it leaped back and ran away.

My heart was beating fast from both fear and excitement. The creature was the first sign of magic in these woods. Magic I’d love to find. My instincts told me to leave the woods and head for home. My feet were carrying me deeper into the forest.

The wind rustled and leaves blew by. In the distance, there was the faintest sound of something ringing, but I didn’t turn back. I stepped around a dark oak and found myself facing the stream leading into the village. As I stepped onto the cobbled road, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Coincidence? I looked back at the trees. The strange beast looked back, his gaze a solemn reminder of a memory.

I ran back to the spot I had departed from on Odyssey. My horse stood there, his sides heaving from a long run.

“Coward,” I chided him.

He ducked his head towards me, as if ashamed.

“Run away when a lady’s in danger?” I teased.

Odyssey nuzzled me affectionately, dropping his head in a demure and bashful manner. I took the reins and led the way through town.

This entry was posted in My Stories, Other Fun Stuff and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Critique Session

  1. Can’t wait to read more, sweety!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s